inspired by bill hicks standup - rip, my good man

so i went into the liquor store yesterday, put the 30 rack on the counter and they asked for an id - because i looked like i was 12. (i was, i had a fake, but anyway.) it's damn good thing that they asked, because otherwise, i never would have started drinking before i was 21.

okay, i lied, i never had a fake at 12. i never had a fake actually, because the government realize it was easy as shit to reproduce them and finally pulled their head out of their asses and put some technology into them.

but you know what? there's always going to be a certain percentage of kids that are going to want to get fucked up, long, long, long before they turn that magical age of 21 where suddenly everyone whose fucking 21 years old is adult enough to realize the true horrors of alcohol. that's why we never have any drunken drivers killing innocent people.

yeah, the systems fucked. but everyone thinks that they can fix it by running PSAs and carding kids. you idiots. i figured out that i could brew beer legally before i turned 21. how the hell is that legal?

but either way, since i had a hard time getting alcohol hookups - and stealing from my parents just couldn't cover it - i turned to other endeavors. such as marijuana.

glorious, glorious marijuana.

i started smoking at 14, smoked it daily during the summers, then once i hit college, smoked it daily ever since. and thank god i started with pot because by then i had enough substance abuse training to realize when i turned into a alcoholic once i turned 21 and it suddenly became legal to destroy my body.

so maybe it should stay illegal, and maybe the world should continue to waste billions of dollars - not in just police money, but wasted revenue that you could get from making it legal and taxing it.

wait - no. that's a terrible idea. billions of dollars wasted just so you can live in your little magical mystery world where pot is a Schedule I drug and alcohol isn't even listed.

this country sickens me so much with their idiotic, asinine, down right backwards policies.